“With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive…”

“With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.”

- Desiderata by Max Ehrmann

“SHRILL BAD, DUSKY GOOD: No man can happily work or vote for a woman whose voice sounds like a mom or…”

“SHRILL BAD, DUSKY GOOD: No man can happily work or vote for a woman whose voice sounds like a mom or wife yelling at him. Whether running a Fortune Five Hundred company or running for office, women should practice speaking like Kathleen Turner in Body Heat. (If you have small children present, rent Who Framed Roger Rabbit and check out Jessica Rabbit.) POWER WORDS: Down through the ages there have been secret words and phrases that a select group of women have known and used to give them control over men. Use them wisely and you’ll be on the other side of that glass ceiling before you know it. A short list includes: panties, huge, amazing and “anything you want, just hurry.” For increased effectiveness, say these power words like Kathleen Turner. BOOBS: If you got’ em, flaunt’ em. If you don’t got’ em, buy’ em. (CAUTION: This will cause other women to hate you. Do not despair. Once you and your terrific rack are running things, you can fire the jealous bitches.) POLITICALLY CORRECT FLIRTING: There is no such thing. That being said, if, by subtle words or actions, you can make a man feel sexually viable, he will act like a fool and you can steal his job. If you think that’s cruel, you’re not ready to break through the glass ceiling and should instead consider marrying a fat guy with hedge fund money and a history of confusing his erection pills with his heart medication.”

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CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #215

Mr. Misogyny’s Tips For Breaking Through the Glass Ceiling

“So now I’m slowing it down and I’m looking around And I’m lovin’ this town…”

“So now I’m slowing it down and I’m looking around
And I’m lovin’ this town and I’m doing alright
Ain’t worried about nothing except the man I wanna be
I’m thinking it’s time to be livin’ the rhyme
When I’m singing a song about nothing but right
And it’d sure be nice if you would roll with me”

- Clint Daniels/Tommy Karlas

“Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop…”

“Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?”

- John Cusack - High Fidelity

“Poems don’t come from machines Machines can’t set life into rhyme And you can’t manufacture soul Nor…”

“Poems don’t come from machines
Machines can’t set life into rhyme
And you can’t manufacture soul
Nor “gauge” and “chop” soulful lines”

- Johnny Cash

“Everybody’s troubled with the hustle and the bustle The payment on the house is late If I ever have…”

“Everybody’s troubled with the hustle and the bustle
The payment on the house is late
If I ever have a problem like that
I guess I’ll be in pretty good shape”

- Ryan Bingham

“I live my life from day to day If I don’t think too much everything’s ok”

“I live my life from day to day
If I don’t think too much everything’s ok”

- Randy Rogers

“To do something well is so worthwhile that to die trying to do it better cannot be foolhardy. It…”

“To do something well is so worthwhile that to die trying to do it better cannot be foolhardy. It would be a waste of life to do nothing with one’s ability, for I feel that life is measured in achievement, not in years alone.”

- Bruce McLaren

“Reading the bible won’t get you to heaven, and thinking about running won’t make your…”

“Reading the bible won’t get you to heaven, and thinking about running won’t make your legs weak. You’ve got a picture of Paris. It don’t mean you’ve been there, and just because you’re able don’t mean you should speak.”

- Matt Powell

“One day you will come to a fork in the road. And you’re going to have to make a decision about…”

“One day you will come to a fork in the road. And you’re going to have to make a decision about what direction you want to go. If you go that way you can be somebody. You will have to make compromises and you will have to turn your back on your friends. But you will be a member of the club and you will get promoted and you will get good assignments. Or you can go that way and you can do something - something for your country and for your Air Force and for yourself. If you decide to do something, you may not get promoted and you may not get the good assignments and you certainly will not be a favorite of your superiors. But you won’t have to compromise yourself. You will be true to your friends and to yourself. And your work might make a difference. To be somebody or to do something. In life there is often a roll call. That’s when you will have to make a decision. To be or to do? Which way will you go?”

- Col. John Boyd