“With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive…”

“With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.”

- Desiderata by Max Ehrmann

“SHRILL BAD, DUSKY GOOD: No man can happily work or vote for a woman whose voice sounds like a mom or…”

“SHRILL BAD, DUSKY GOOD: No man can happily work or vote for a woman whose voice sounds like a mom or wife yelling at him. Whether running a Fortune Five Hundred company or running for office, women should practice speaking like Kathleen Turner in Body Heat. (If you have small children present, rent Who Framed Roger Rabbit and check out Jessica Rabbit.) POWER WORDS: Down through the ages there have been secret words and phrases that a select group of women have known and used to give them control over men. Use them wisely and you’ll be on the other side of that glass ceiling before you know it. A short list includes: panties, huge, amazing and “anything you want, just hurry.” For increased effectiveness, say these power words like Kathleen Turner. BOOBS: If you got’ em, flaunt’ em. If you don’t got’ em, buy’ em. (CAUTION: This will cause other women to hate you. Do not despair. Once you and your terrific rack are running things, you can fire the jealous bitches.) POLITICALLY CORRECT FLIRTING: There is no such thing. That being said, if, by subtle words or actions, you can make a man feel sexually viable, he will act like a fool and you can steal his job. If you think that’s cruel, you’re not ready to break through the glass ceiling and should instead consider marrying a fat guy with hedge fund money and a history of confusing his erection pills with his heart medication.”

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CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #215

Mr. Misogyny’s Tips For Breaking Through the Glass Ceiling

“So now I’m slowing it down and I’m looking around And I’m lovin’ this town…”

“So now I’m slowing it down and I’m looking around
And I’m lovin’ this town and I’m doing alright
Ain’t worried about nothing except the man I wanna be
I’m thinking it’s time to be livin’ the rhyme
When I’m singing a song about nothing but right
And it’d sure be nice if you would roll with me”

- Clint Daniels/Tommy Karlas

“Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop…”

“Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?”

- John Cusack - High Fidelity

“Poems don’t come from machines Machines can’t set life into rhyme And you can’t manufacture soul Nor…”

“Poems don’t come from machines
Machines can’t set life into rhyme
And you can’t manufacture soul
Nor “gauge” and “chop” soulful lines”

- Johnny Cash

“Everybody’s troubled with the hustle and the bustle The payment on the house is late If I ever have…”

“Everybody’s troubled with the hustle and the bustle
The payment on the house is late
If I ever have a problem like that
I guess I’ll be in pretty good shape”

- Ryan Bingham